Whew... Relieved!!

I was apprehensive about what I may experience when I took my first dose of the Methotrexate this morning, but as it turns out, I was OK! No nausea, no feeling tired, no headache... Whew! What a relief!!!

As many others have written, however, I am feeling very fearful much of the time. When I was up last night because my knee was hurting quite a lot, I was feeling much of this fear. It's the unknown of what the next day, or even hour will bring. It's the apprehension when you first get up in the morning wondering if when you step off the bed your ankles and knees will hold you up.

My husband has been really good at not over-reacting and keeping things "real". His sense of humor and remaining matter-of-fact helps me overcome the fear.

But my feelings of fear and apprehension are also somewhat eased by being surrounded by health care providers that have delivered care, good judgement, and nurture. My primary care doctor, who has been our family doctor for many years has helped with his usual support and just being there when, for example, I changed insurances and needed immediate referral. The physical therapist has been supportive, working hard to keep me mobile and flexible, and also sometimes just talking about her cousin who also has RA, and how she's coping. My rheumatologist has so far shown herself to be well informed, answering all my questions and being clear with the diagnosis and treatment. And then this afternoon, I got a call from my orthopedist who originally started to suspect that I may have RA, just to see how I was doing, if I liked my rheumatologist, what the treatment was, and to call her any time and keep her updated on how I am doing! I was truly touched!

Ok, and I know that in my last post I mentioned my mom. Well, I finally talked to her last night and gave her the news. She did get a bit emotional at first, but I managed to steer her to a more clinical aspects of the discussion, which worked well. When I was able to get her to put the doctor hat on and talk about the medicines and x-ray results it went better. So, last milestone completed!